Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that affects a person’s behavior, emotions, and relationships. It is characterized by intense emotions, unstable relationships, and impulsive behaviors. However, not all people with BPD exhibit these symptoms in the same way. Some people with BPD have what is known as “quiet” BPD, which can be challenging to diagnose.
If you grew up with “quiet” BPD, you may not have exhibited the typical symptoms of BPD. However, you may have struggled with your emotions and relationships in unique ways. Here are 18 signs that you grew up with “quiet” BPD:
1. You Struggled to Express Your Emotions
As a child, you may have struggled to express your emotions. You may have felt overwhelmed by your feelings and unsure of how to communicate them to others. You may have also learned to suppress your emotions to avoid conflict or disapproval.
2. You Felt Emotionally Numb
At times, you may have felt emotionally numb. You may have had difficulty experiencing emotions or felt disconnected from your feelings.
3. You Feared Abandonment
You may have had a deep fear of abandonment. You may have felt that people would leave you or reject you, even if there was no evidence to support this belief.
4. You Struggled to Form Relationships
You may have had difficulty forming and maintaining relationships. You may have felt that people would always let you down, or that you weren’t worthy of love and affection.
5. You Experienced Intense Mood Swings
You may have experienced intense mood swings. Your emotions may have fluctuated rapidly, and you may have had difficulty regulating your feelings.
6. You Engaged in Self-Destructive Behaviors
You may have engaged in self-destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse or self-harm. These behaviors may have been a way to cope with your intense emotions or to feel a sense of control over your life.
7. You Struggled with Identity Issues
You may have struggled with your identity. You may have felt unsure of who you were or what you wanted in life. You may have also had difficulty making decisions or setting goals for yourself.
8. You Had Difficulty Trusting Others
You may have had difficulty trusting others. You may have felt that people were untrustworthy or that they would betray you. This may have made it difficult for you to form close relationships.
9. You Struggled with Intimacy
You may have struggled with intimacy. You may have had difficulty opening up to others or allowing yourself to be vulnerable. This may have made it difficult for you to form close, meaningful relationships.
10. You Experienced Chronic Feelings of Emptiness
You may have experienced chronic feelings of emptiness. You may have felt as though something was missing from your life or that you were never truly happy.
11. You Struggled to Manage Your Emotions
You may have had difficulty managing your emotions. You may have felt overwhelmed by your feelings or struggled to regulate your emotions in healthy ways.
12. You Experienced Episodes of Dissociation
You may have experienced episodes of dissociation. You may have felt detached from reality or as though you were watching yourself from outside your body.
13. You Had Difficulty Setting Boundaries
You may have had difficulty setting boundaries. You may have felt that you had to please others or that you couldn’t say no to requests or demands.
14. You Felt Constantly Overwhelmed
You may have felt constantly overwhelmed. You may have had difficulty managing your responsibilities or felt that you were always under a lot of stress.
15. You Struggled with Perfectionism
You may have struggled with perfectionism. You may have felt that you had to be perfect in every aspect of your life, and that anything less than perfection was a failure.
16. You Experienced Anxiety and Depression
You may have experienced anxiety and depression. These conditions may have been related to your struggles with emotions, relationships, and self-esteem.
17. You Had Difficulty Communicating Your Needs
You may have had difficulty communicating your needs. You may have felt that your needs weren’t important, or that others wouldn’t understand or care about them.
18. You Struggled with Self-Worth
You may have struggled with your self-worth. You may have felt that you were unworthy of love, affection, or success. These feelings may have been related to your experiences growing up with “quiet” BPD.
If you can relate to these signs, it’s important to seek support from a mental health professional. With the right treatment, people with BPD can learn to manage their symptoms and build healthy, fulfilling relationships.