How a Narcissistic Mother Destroys You

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A mother’s love and affection is essential for a child’s healthy development. However, not all mothers are nurturing and empathetic. Narcissistic mothers, in particular, can be destructive and damaging to their children’s emotional well-being. In this article, we will explore how a narcissistic mother destroys her child and the long-term effects that can linger into adulthood.

What is Narcissism?

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Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a need for admiration. Narcissists are preoccupied with themselves and their achievements, and they often exploit others for their own gain. Narcissistic mothers can be particularly damaging to their children because they view their children as extensions of themselves rather than individuals with their own needs and desires.

The Effects of a Narcissistic Mother

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Children of narcissistic mothers often experience emotional abuse, neglect, and manipulation. They may struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and a lack of trust in others. Children of narcissistic mothers may also develop codependent behaviors, seeking validation and approval from others to fill the emotional void left by their mothers.

Childhood Trauma

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The emotional abuse and neglect inflicted by a narcissistic mother can have lasting effects on a child’s mental health. Children may struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, and worthlessness. They may also have difficulty forming healthy relationships and setting boundaries, leading to codependency and dysfunctional behaviors.

The Scapegoat and Golden Child

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Narcissistic mothers often play favorites among their children, creating a dynamic where one child is the “golden child” and the other is the “scapegoat.” The golden child is praised and doted on while the scapegoat is blamed for everything that goes wrong. This can lead to feelings of resentment and hostility between siblings, as well as a distorted sense of self-worth.

The Mask of Perfection

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Narcissistic mothers often project an image of perfection to the outside world, while behind closed doors, they may be emotionally abusive and neglectful. This can lead to confusion and cognitive dissonance for their children, who may struggle to reconcile the image of their mother with the reality of their experiences.


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Narcissistic mothers may use gaslighting as a tactic to manipulate and control their children. Gaslighting involves denying the reality of a situation or convincing someone that their perceptions are wrong. Gaslighting can lead to feelings of confusion, self-doubt, and a distorted sense of reality.

The Role of Enablers

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Enablers are individuals who support and enable the narcissistic behavior of the mother. They may be family members, partners, or friends who turn a blind eye to the abuse and neglect. Enablers can make it difficult for the child to recognize and address the abuse, as they may feel that they are the problem rather than the mother.

Coping Mechanisms

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Children of narcissistic mothers may develop coping mechanisms to deal with the emotional abuse and neglect. These coping mechanisms can include dissociation, self-harm, substance abuse, and eating disorders. It is important for children of narcissistic mothers to seek professional help to address these underlying issues.

Breaking the Cycle

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Breaking the cycle of narcissistic abuse can be challenging, but it is possible. It starts with acknowledging the abuse and seeking professional help. Children of narcissistic mothers may also benefit from setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and developing healthy relationships.


Children of narcissistic mothers may struggle with the emotional scars of their childhood well into adulthood. It is important to recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse and seek professional help to address the underlying issues. Breaking the cycle of abuse can be challenging, but it is possible with the right support and resources.

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